• Identity Integrity

    A recent string of events has had me in a bit of an identity crisis. People have been asking my community for referrals for therapists. I have wanted to say “me!”, but instead have waited for a friend to name me as a referral (on their own accord) before I provide any contact info. The thing is, I am a therapist, a pure-bred second generation therapist. Though I’m not yet licensed. Being a therapist is woven into the fabric of my being. Systems theories and relationship dynamics run in my blood. “Relationships” is the default lens through which I view the world. Everything comes back to relationships. Our relationship with…

  • Honor Your “No”

    Q+A sessions at Angel Summit last weekend is where my favorite speakers became my favorite speakers. It’s all bc they each said “no.” “I can’t answer that, it has to be your decision.” “I can’t possibly make that call.” “I’m sorry for what you’re going through, and I’m not qualified to answer that for you.” “I can’t be your mentor… I want to be home at 3pm to make my kid a snack when they get home from school.” Our “yes” muscle has been conditioned quite well, and is generally far stronger than our “no” muscle. Especially in business. With business being an area still largely steeped in masculine energy,…

  • Cognitive Bypassing is Sucking Your Energy

    You may be familiar with the term “spiritual bypassing” referring to the “tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.”  coined by John Welwood in 1984. Cognitive bypassing is very similar (I guess coined by me, now), except that it also massively sucks your energy. You know you’re cognitively bypassing when you jump out of your body and into your head when faced with an uncomfortable emotion. When you immediately try to fix “it” (the discomfort) with logic and reason while ignoring the emotions. When you don’t give yourself the time or the space to experience those…