You Already Know

One of my favorite parts of being a coach is reintroducing my clients to their own "knowing". The kind of knowing that happens in the body rather than the brain. The kind of knowing that sends energized chills down your spine, causes you to breathe deeper, and allows you to see clearer. It has the comfort of a return home and the excitement of a fresh start all in one. The best part is that we are all born with this. Somewhere along the way, we lose touch with our “knowing”.

You stop listening when it tells you to do something different than your friends want you to do. You stop listening when it tells you that what your mom/dad/sister/brother/boyfriend/girlfriend is saying is true, despite how badly you want to disagree, even if it’s just to disagree. You stop listening when it tells you that being patient pays off, but you want what you want now.

There are many reasons why you stop listening (and ultimately stop trusting your knowing) but they all boil down to fear. Fear of disconnection, fear of being “wrong”, fear of not having enough, fear of not being enough. Your knowing gets it. And if you asked your knowing about those fears, it would say (with so much love) “You will connect with who you need to, when you need to,” “Of course you will be wrong, everyone is from time to time,” “You will get what you need when you need it,” and “You. Are. Enough.”

What do you already know that you are not trusting?

Choose it or Change it

For a very long time my grandparents had a pre-remote TV. Any time I wanted to change the channel or volume, I had to get up from the couch or floor, walk over to the TV and adjust it. Of course at the time I couldn’t appreciate the beauty of that old pre-remote TV. Because of the pace at which everyone is moving (and expected to move), I view taking the time and effort to consciously choose something as a luxury rather than inconvenience.

Making conscious (without external pressure or internal reactivity) choices is a sign of mindfulness, power, and authenticity. Stepping away from the automatic responses and outdated belief systems that play in our head on repeat means that we are taking control of our choices, a power (and luxury) that is often overlooked. Consciously choosing our boyfriends/girlfriends/partners/significant others, families, work, and hobbies make both the bad and good times better, because we know that we choose ______. Try it, the next time _____ is irritating you, choose it. Say to yourself, “I choose _____.”

If you don’t consciously choose something, then consciously change it... and choose something else.

Keep Your Eyes on the Horizon

Keep your eyes on the horizon. This phrase is used across a variety of disciplines including sailing, hiking, driving, and investing. In driving it means keeping your focus on farthest point of the road you can see (towards the horizon line) which enables you to see — and react to — what’s happening on the whole road rather than just the car in front of you.

In coaching, “keep your eyes on the horizon” means keeping your mid-to-long-term goals in mind to help organize shorter-term goals. When you know what you want to accomplish in 3-6 months, it’s easier for you to set 1-month benchmarks that you can work towards meeting through everyday tasks. How are you keeping your eyes on the horizon today?